Father's Day Ironies

It's Father's Day and the whole day is irony at our house. We don't have traditional roles here, so the whole thing is weird.

For example, Bart always does all the cooking. So, on Mother's Day things are just like any other day. This year he made the best meal! I take it easy all day long. But when it comes to meals I usually take it easy. On Father's Day, we eat out. :-)

EXCEPT that today I'm making stromboli for our picnic at the Boys Ranch. Homemade stromboli (well, bread-machine dough home-made stromboli). I get so stressed out when I cook. It's not fun for me. The girls helped and we made Snicker Salad after I put the strombolis in the oven. Now I'm waiting to see how they turned out as one of the doughs looked odd.

Another example, is that I love it when my kids remember me on a holiday, but I am not overly concerned if they don't. Bart cares a little more than I do, but it doesn't count if I remind them. So Mother's Day, which is during the school day, is trumped up by teachers to be a major holiday. Father's Day, which comes in the summer, has no educational support. So I always get more stuff, more recognition, etc.

In addiiton, to add to the contrasts, all and all I'm a pretty (I was going to say sucky here, but don't want to offend) average mother. I am committed to my kids and I love them, but I am not over-nurturing or the "ideal Mom." However, my standard for myself is pretty low, so I am fairly satisfied with my performance. I figure I'm "good enough."

On the other hand, Bart is the best Dad ever. He genuinely cares for, nurtures, stresses about, worries about, and adores his children. He goes out of his way to do them favors to show them he loves them. When I figure they can ride their bikes, he gives them a ride. When I figure "if it's not bleeding it doesn't need a bandaid" he'll put one on just to make them feel better. When I say, "This is the last time I'm going to tell you to go to bed before I really lose it," he says, "Come here, son. Do you need a little attention? How about a hug? But, to poor irony upon irony, his standard for himself is perfection and so he views himself as a mediocre, at best, father.

Finally, Bart is the only Dad that most of my kids know. Almost all of them remember another mother, but they don't remember another Dad -- so while Mother's Day is often a time for acting out and stress, Father's Day, fortunately is fairly low key.

So, for whatever it is worth, Happy Father's Day to the best dad a kid could ever ask for ... with hopes that he'll realize it some day and that his kids remember to tell him too.