Thursday, June 16, 2005

Oh the things I would blog if I could really really blog

If I knew that ONLY the people I trust the most would be able to read my blog, oh the things I would blog.

So, now I have to be very very vague and if I trust you you can ask what I'm really talking about.

Have you ever needed to make a decision and ignored your own wisdom? Been at a cross-road and been able to see right down the road knowing EXACTLY how it will turn out and KNOWING that you would be an idiot to go down the road?

And then, for some reason, unknown to yourself, you talk yourself out of rational, realistic thinking and you begin to dream that maybe the road really won't go where you think it might? Maybe it will be different, in fact, maybe it will be a nice, easy road?

And then, in that dilussional moment, you say to yourself, "Yes, this road will be great" and you head down it.

And then you get several steps down the road and you not only want to cuss your self out and slap yourself, but you want to beat yourself over the head over and over, again and again, hitting yourself until you bleed, attempting to punish yourself in addition to knocking some sense into yourself? You want to take out all that anger on someone else but you know that you deserve it because you were SO INCREDIBLY STUPID?????

Never been there?

lucky you.

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