I figured something out this weekend. We have a family system that works pretty well, even though it is quite odd. I hate to even confess it here, but you've probably figured it out already.
I live at my desk. And it works for us.
When I designed my small office when me moved into this house I bought two desks. One faces the wall, one faces the door. The one that faces the door has a hangover ledge on the other side. There are two chairs that face my desk. Kids can do homework there when my desk is clean enough.
So I sit here and either work or don't work. Anywhere from 2-5 children are in here most of the time they are home, though sometimes they are all busy doing other things. We have interesting conversations here and I get a lot of one on one (or 2 on 1, 3 on 1, etc.) time with them that way. I run the family from here and do my two jobs. I do things for church here. It works fairly well.
This past weekend when I decided to stay out of my office, things didn't go as well. The kids went nuts... all of the younger kids wanted to be on me and near me at the same time. None of them got much quality time with me. They were hyper and loud and crazy.
SO now that school is starting up, I'm back at my desk. We've found what works. If Bart and I stay in separate places (he usually in the kitchen or bedroom, me in the bedroom or office) we each have lots of conversations with children in small groups.
But us trying to spend time with all of them at once in an organized fashion, it just doesn't go well. That's not to say we don't do it, but it rarely goes well.
Maybe we're completely off base. Maybe the parenting experts would say we aren't doing it right. But it works for us.
And when you have kids as cute as the one above who dressed this way to walk the dog back and forth in front of our house, you want that one on one time with each of them.
So instead of feeling guilty for sitting at my desk seeing them one at a time, I'm going to feel good that I get to and no keep trying to be with them all at once.
3 comments:
I say stay at your desk. The kids appreciate predictability. They know where to find you when they need you.
Your post makes total sense and I understand. I think it probably has to do with the routine and predictability (can't spell that big of a word) of knowing where to find each of you. My kids always come looking for me in the same place. Barb
I think your post makes total sense. I wonder if it is the routine and predictability(big word to spell for me without a spell check)of knowing where to find each of you. My kids always come looking for me in the same place. Barb
Post a Comment