Why It's So Hard For ME, Part Two

I was gone last night and it's a good thing. Because apparently things changed slightly after Bart blogged about Mike being respectful, appropriate and pleasant. Bart reported to me that he has spent the evening participating one of his most annoying habits -- making rude comments about his siblings and giving unsolicited advice.

So last night Bart had to listen to MIke tell him that we really should get rid of our dog (truly Bart's best friend and companion). He had to listen to what a slut Salinda was (and I use a nicer term). And he, and the rest of the family, including Dominyk, had to listen to how fat Dominyk is.

I think it is ever so ironic that the rest of the kids in our home have been able to keep their mouths shut since Mike has been staying here. They have not mentioned any of the myriad of things he has done in the past four years to damage our family system. They have not brought up his chemical addiction, his criminal history, his attempt to have our parental rights terminated, his years in detention facilities and jail. They simply and graciously have welcomed him back into their lives without reminders of how many times and in how many ways he has screwed up.

And yet he can offer all these critical comments to them.

But the comment that has kept me awake and driven me crazy since 5 am. was this, "I"m morally opposed to giving kids ADHD drugs."

Now this is a man, by legal definition, who is one chance away from two years in prison. He has a criminal record as an adult two pages long and he's only been an adult for 8 months. He has stolen vehicles, sold drugs, received stolen property.... I won't even bother to go into detail.

And yet he is MORALLY opposed to us giving ADHD meds to his brothers.

My brain works fine and I cannot wrap my head around such a comment. Should he even be allowed to use the word "morally"?

And yet I remind myself that he has a disability that keeps him from making connections.

BUT I DON'T!!! And keeping my mouth shut and not making those connections for him is ever so difficult.