Friday, May 11, 2012

If So Many Wait, Why Aren't I Matched?

I felt like this comment warranted a response.

It's so frustrating to hear 'there are waiting children' and then to go through the entire process of being licensed, doing the home study, etc. and then have an empty house.

A lot of the information and my opinions about matching are in the matching series on my Everything Adoption Blog.

But I wanted to share my frustration in the presentation of waiting children from a media perspective. While it has been changing over the years, typically a child is featured who is under 12 -- or a sibling group with children under 5. This gets people quite excited about the idea of all these waiting children out there.

The bottom line is that most of the waiting children are really waiting teenagers. They are kids over 12 who have some pretty difficult behaviors. And they are desperately in need of families.

So the situation that we have out there is that there are a lot of families waiting for young children while a lot of teenagers are waiting for a family willing to take older children.

If you have a homestudy done and are willing to take kids over 14 -- please let me know and we will hopefully be able to help you get matched.

I'm not saying that everyone should take teenagers -- I'm just explaining why the wait is long for those who want younger kids -- there are a lot of people out there like you who want the younger kids too, leading to more competition.

Waiting kids and waiting families. That shouldn't be happening. But I'm not sure what to do to bridge the gap when so many kids come into care long after they have lost the "cuteness" people respond too.

Is that too harsh?


Cody Lee said...

I actually read your matching series when I was still in PRIDE and kept that in mind when hashing out my license with DFPS. I'm licensed 0-13 (I keep telling everyone we'll talk teenagers when I turn 30), and I've told my worker repeatedly that I don't expect to ever be placed with a infant or toddler.

(I actually read your blog, Cindy's blog, and Kari's blog before PRIDE classes started. You guys are very real about your experiences, and I appreciate that. It's helped me set what I think are realistic expectations.)

Most of the children I've submitted inquiries on via the TARE website are 11-12yrs old. I push my worker, I push their workers, I push supervisors...and nothing.

I understand that no children are being put into the Texas fostercare system right now, but what about those who are cleared for adoption and just waiting?

Anonymous said...

Not harsh. Just true.