Last night she and a few of the other coffees came over to watch a movie which turned into a game instead and her husband fixing our lawnmower.... but anyway, StarBUCK and Kari and I ended up talking about what has happened with blogging. Since I have started to become more positive and have been revealing less negative drama about my kids (I am trying to protect their privacy more as they get involved with others in their lives -- gfs and bfs and their families, birth families, etc.) I find that my readership has gone down.
LT wrote some tough words in a recent post that Kari linked to, and I get what she is saying. The adoptive parent blogging world is often so negative that it's no wonder people have no desire to adopt older kids.
I feel almost guilty for reporting that I'm handling all this OK -- that I can still look back and recognize that God's been with us and we're going to make it. I feel like people are going to criticize me and say "Well, if you had MY Kid you wouldn't feel so positive."
Why is it that we are so determined that it is our job to warn people that their lives are going to suck (Sorry, Mom, glad you don't have a computer). I LOVED this post from Becky this morning -- I've never read her blog before this morning -- but I want HER attitude to last throughout the lives of each of my kids.
I have to be be honest with myself and admit that when I read it I was cynical and had to stop myself from wanting to warn her that it might not turn out like she's hoping. I made myself realize that I want to have some of that hope back.
I have brothers who didn't turn out the way my parents expected them to and they are 44 and 46. And every day my mom wakes up and prays, believing, that they will begin to make different choices. Some days her prayers are answered in the ways that she thinks they should be, and some of them aren't, but she has always believed that God isn't through with them.
Do you remember this moment in my history when God gave our family a song for Dominyk?
It now has a great slide show on YouTube...
I want to be realistic when I blog. I want to write from my heart. But I also want to remember that there's hope.