Sunday, June 21, 2009

God's Song for Dominyk

Yesterday on the way to the soccer tournament, Dominyk was the best he has been in years. He was cooperative, calm, etc., and all without meds (we're trying to experiment when there is no school to see if there is a better combination. In fact, he did very well until about 2:45 when the soccer game was over and it was time to go have fun and we realized we had a flat tire. From then on things just kept getting worse and worse.

By the time we got to have supper around 8 p.m. he had nearly pushed me over the edge. I was trying to talk to my mom on the phone and he was so loud. After I hung up i raised my voice and said some things i shouldn't and he just lost it. He was crying and sobbing about how nobody loved him (a common phase of his cycle) but he took it farther than ever before, describing how he wished he had never been born because he was stupid and retarded and he went on and on, working himself up more and more and more with each sob.

I was driving and it was late, so I couldn't do much, but i finally talked him down and mentioned to him that sometimes when I was really sad I would turn on a Christian station and tell myself that the song that was playing was God's special song for me for the day. I turned on the radio and the last few lines of this song, "Wait and See (He's Not Finished with me Yet)". The last line simply repeats itself three times, and that is about all we heard. But it was enough. He understood, and I understood, and we both cried some more. Here are some of the lyrics:

I’ve been trouble since the day that I got here

Trouble till the day that I disappear

That’ll be the day that I finally get it right


There is hope for me yet

Because God won’t forget

All the plans he’s made for me

I have to wait and see

He’s not finished with me yet

1 comment:

Sheri said...

Oh mercy, we get that too with Dustin. Nobody loves me, everybody hates me. I should've never picked this family! I wish I was never born.

So annoying at the time and heartbreaking. . . so much damage done to these little minds.

I was thinking about Dominyk the other day because Dustin has been having some horrible behavior and we found out he has been guzzling coke behind our backs. Stimulants make him psychotic (literally) and it figures his behavior was bad after drinking 4-6 a day. RObert thought I was guzzling and I thought he was . . .

Anyway, since we have removed soda from the house (EEEKKK) he has begged for soda . . . I thought of your little buddy.