Friday, June 26, 2009

A Made for TV Movie

Well, it was more like "girls hours out" than "girls day out", but we went and had a great time. I think it was literally the first time the three of us have been out together alone without a fight since they were about 7 and 9 or something. For some reason they would sabotage good times when they were little and then they got to be teens and well, you can imagine how that went. The three of us having hormones lined up at the same time has occurred as often as the vernal equinox and apparently we haven't been in the same place during that event in years.

We went shopping and then for haircuts) followed by lunch. We had good conversations and they were both pleasant. It was fun.

It's really very weird. It's like Salinda has relaxed and is finally just OK. Maybe she was continuing to push us and test us up until the "ultimate" bad thing and now when she sees we still love her she can just let go of all the resentment and anger and just be. She has even spoken words to her father this trip, something she hasn't done in a while. And she's been nice to me.

Another possibility is that right now I'm not asking her to do anything at all. She is only here for 5 or six days so I am not going to worry about chores or all that stuff. She hasn't been breaking any rules and has been very cooperative.

I did ask her about school in the fall and reminded her she wasn't going to drop out and then think she was living here. She laughed and said, "oh, I know THAT, Mom" which made me breath an audible sigh of relief. I was afraid she was thinking that was an option.

When it comes to this situation, I know good and well that I cannot offer any opinions. She has told me before that she will not do anything if it is my idea. So I am continuing to help her process options without leaning toward anything. I'm almost viewing the whole thing like a made for TV movie that I'm not actually in.... just watching it. It helps me to allow her to make her own decisions.

It's her life. It's her baby. She got herself into this and she has to make these decisions right now without me telling her what to do. All I can do is tell her what we will not do. We will not pay for a wedding. We will not sign consent for her to get married (not that she is asking us to). We will not allow her to live at home and not attend high school if she hasn't graduated. WE will make sure she gets to doctor's appointments. We will be supportive. Etc. Etc.

And so who knows what the next several months hold? I sure know I can't control them and I know she never decides anything early, so we will just keep waiting and see what happens.

My Life. A made for TV movie on Lifetime.

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