and it's so horribly annoying that it is. I think this is one of the most draining part of being a parent of teens. Whenever there is a disappointment or a frustration or someone gets themself into a mess, they have to blame me. It gets very old and I have been through two very long rounds of it tonight.
I try to tell myself that I shouldn't let it bother me, but it is exhausting listening to them in detail explain things that have no rational base. The ways that they manuever things in order for it to be my fault are amazing. I could go through the whole thing here but dont' even have the emotional energy to live through it again to type it for you.
I waste so much breath, too. That bothers me a lot. I spend weeks providing verbal reminders and warnings about things... but I am ignored. And then, when the natural consequences come from not heeding my advice it is my fault too. But at least I can't be blamed for not warning them. Just seems like an endless battle.
In books like "Parenting Teens with Love and Logic" they make it seem so easy. They say you need to empathize, "I'm sorry you went over your cell phone minutes and your bill is so high." I can do that. Not hard at all to say those words.
But what they forget to write down is the 43 reasons that the teen throws back at you to prove that you are the reason they were innocent and you were at fault. That's the exhausting part.
And I'm obviously rambling....
1 comment:
Last night my husband took our 17 year old son to an SAT prep class and he hopped in the car with nothing. Husband asked if he thought he should take something with him, like a pen and paper and son said, "Nah". When husband picked him up he started in with the car door halfway open, "How could you let me go in there without something to write on?"
I think it is a fight against growing up. Teens want all the freedom of adulthood, but none of the responsibility. The learning curve is long and slow, it seems.
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