Yesterday ended peacefully enough I guess. Everyone was at Bible School and I had a chance to be alone at home and get something done. Worked on a business plan and budget for the company we're using to promote the book we're writing. Now this morning I'm facing a very full inbox.
I went to the Y this morning and was feeling great until I got home and Salinda hadn't gotten herself up for tennis. I woke her up and of course somehow it was my fault that she got up late. She'll be 16 in a few months. Good grief. She hadn't even asked me to wake her up, but when I got home and realized that it was getting late.
So in return for my gracious willingness not only to wake her up but to give her a ride, I get treated rudely all morning.
I know it's typical, but I still don't like it.
1 comment:
Typical for Salinda? Or typical for all teenagers? You really want her to succeed way more than she wants to right now and I know from personal experience how hard that is. It wasn't until I stepped back from my dd's nastiness that I realized how much of my time and energy was spent (not to mention the amount of stress and anxiety I produced for ME) on her in a day and for what? I just let her know that I loved her, but that I was not going to be her doormat any longer. I let the consequences fall where they did and until she could get a grip of her nasty attitude for more than just as long as it took to get something from me. I refused to do anything for her until she could show me the kindness and love that I did for her every day of her life. Being a good Mom is not driving your kids everywhere and giving them permission to spend time with friends every week - it's being there for them - which you totally are. The way I looked at it, if my dd being gone was not giving me a break, she wasn't going anywhere. If I didn't know for sure she'd be where she said she would, it stressed me while she was gone and that wasn't a break for me. She's survived (as have we) to age 18 1/2 so far, needs one class to get her high school diploma and doesn't have a boyfriend/isn't pregnant so I think we need to be satisfied so far. You just can't let her teenage "thinking" (do they actually think at that age??) get to you - she'll say and do whatever it takes to get her way and as you've described, she can be nasty and mean to get her way or sweet and charming - it's a curse.
Hang in there, nobody knows Salinda like you do and nobody can tell you what will work for her, just what they've tried for their kids.
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