Friday, August 22, 2008

I know Y'all Have Opinions

I got this request from one of my friends who is an adoption supervisor for a region in a large state in our country. How is that for vague?

Anyway, she says:

I have been asked to speak for 1 ½ hours at a local foster parent conference about siblings and keeping them together. One thing I’d like to present is that it’s not just me saying it, but that this is a real life issue. I’d like some testimony or facts from adoptive parents who can talk about how kids they have adopted have struggled because they’ve been separated from a sibling.

Anybody want to leave a comment with a story or personal experience? Or, if you don't feel comfortable, shoot me an email with your story and I'll pass it on to her.

I'm sure she will not be using your name....


Barb said...

I am so living that very thing everyday. K has so much fear and anger because his sister is not here with him. At times it has lead to an almost complete shut-down. You can certainly use our family and our experiences. Let me know what specifics you want. I got lots and lots from this summer.

Mary said...

My kids are separated from a younger sibling. This has been and continues to be one of the most traumatic events they have endured.

While theoretically they know she's safe, cared for, loved, and doing well, they do not understand why they had to leave and she got to stay (it was a preadoptive placement).

The really sad thing is this family will not allow any contact -- not even photo exchanges -- with these full siblings.

Leaving their sibling was harder for my kids than being placed from home to home. This was their little sister!

My kids were young (3 and 4) when they last saw her (she was 1) and they ask constantly about her.

I have no answers for them.

I realize there are situations where it is for the safety of some children that siblings are separated. But this wasn't the case with my kids.

From what I have been told from the workers, it was the idea of trying to place three kids with a family would be harder than trying to place two kids. The baby was attached to the family she was in; my two children had only been there a short time and did not have that "attachment" (or so they say).

But they were attached to each other and the workers didn't want to break that bond on top of everything else. It was a lose/lose situation no matter which decision they took.

Angela :-) said...

All 4 of my kiddos are separated from birth siblings. In two cases (affecting 3 kids), the others are still with bio-fam. My other son has one sib with bio-fam and one (whom we've never met) in another adoptive family. I have no concrete knowledge how this affects any of them, but I do know my oldest son wonders about the sister he's never met.