Travelling up to St. Paul today for a couple meetings -- leaving as soon as I take the kids to school.
I haven't written about the kids much -- because nothing major is happening. But we have several little things going on -- testing of boundaries -- and the kids grades are not nearly up to their potential. We aren't sure what more we can do -- we could force them with many consequences but at what point in time does internal motivation have to occur. By the time a kid is 15 or 16 it's time for them to start caring more about their own lives than we are.
The problem if they don't get it now -- is that we will have a houseful of unemployed adults with no subsidy that we are trying to support. Not quite what we signed up for.
If young adults don't qualify for services but can't find jobs, can't go to college, and possibly can't graduate, where do they end up?
I'm wondering how many kids adopted from foster care have a smooth transition to productive adulthood....
Any stories out there like that? If you have more than one kid -- what is the percentage of your kids that transitioned well to adulthood?
3 comments:
Have you considered Job Corps for any of them that don't have jobs, or post-high school plans?
%age that transitioned well and easily - ummm, 0 for 3... but the 23 and 21 are doing better now.
23yo is in his 2nd semester of college, good grades.
21yo is married, expecting 2nd kid in June. Still no hs diploma, but behaving well, maturing, good mama, meeting her probation reqts.
The 20 yo... that's another story... still hoping he finishes Job Corps with hs diploma and CNA some day...
All are attached to the family and want to be part of the family.
Kathleen
http://www.attachmentandintegrationmethods.com
If anyone comes up with good ideas here I would love to hear them. So many of my own are 'doing too well' for any type of assistance but will never hold a living wage job. FYI - Job Corps is a great idea but only if they don't have a clean criminal background and can follow the guidelines which often include educational advancement. A total bust for one pusdo-foster son...FASD don't you know.
I'm in the same boat (lost the paddle, apparently, haha). My almost 18 yo has blown out of every parochial, charter and public school. Home schooling and computer based programs were a disaster. For the past two years she has wanted to get a job and threatened to leave the sec she turns 18. We wouldn't let her get a job because her grades were always so terrible but just recently told her to go ahead cuz we are D-O-N-E with trying to force education down her throat. So, two weeks ago she applies for over 50 jobs (no drivers license either so I did all the running around to get apps and return them with her). She is surprised she hasn't gotten any calls yet. She truly is. She was sure they'd all rush to hire an almost 18 yo with no hs education to speak of, no drivers license, no job experience and no references. Hmmmm - she is now attending the school of hard knocks and is starting to fall apart. She's come up with some really interesting solutions to many of the obstacles in her path - none of them ethical and none I will condone. Her bio brother (12 1/2 mos younger) is in the same boat. Nothing going for him but he announced the other day that he finally has a "plan" - he wants a ride to the homeless shelter on his 18th b-day (14 mos. away) and from there he will get a job, then an apartment and then get on with his life. The next two in line do not look much better. I want to know what we're supposed to do with them as well. They haven't been able to follow rules so we don't give them the opportunities to break the rules anymore (the level of supervision here is ridiculous and exhausting). No one is interested in learning, however, "I" have learned quite a lot in this journey. I know I am not patient enough to have a bunch of young adults living here, not working, not going to school, and not following our rules. I want many things for my children - I just can't keep caring more for their lives than they do anymore.
Good luck!!
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