Kids Taking up Time

Saturday morning before 8 and I still have (oh great, here I go again, counting down in my head -- 10 total, two not living with us, one on a trip with his best friend up north, and two giggling in the living room) -- FIVE kids still sleeping. This is a tangent -- but I count down in my head all the time. I start at 10 every time and think of (and say a short prayer) for the boys in residential. Then I go from there to determine where everyone is. Once and a while I screw up, but I have NEVER left a kid anywhere, which most large families have happen to them every once and a while.

Anyway, only two kids are up and I have a few hours to finish cleaning off my desk, cleaning up my email, and getting the powerpoint ready for tomorrow.

I just read My Friend Cindy's Blog and she is talking about how people say to her, "My two kids take up all my time."

I have had a theory about this for a long time. Whatever number of kids you have they will take all your time. If you only have one (pitty those who do) then that child relies on you for entertainment, someone to fight with, cook, chauffer, laundress, shopping partner, and therapist. They will take all of your time. If you have 2 kids, they will take all your time. If you have 10 they will, and according to Cindy, 39 will as well.

I have written an article about Large Families called 15 Reasons why Large Adoptive Families are a Great Resource for Waiting Kids that talks a lot about all this stuff. I do speaking events naturally to explain why some of us who are willing to take tough kids should not be ignored because of family size.

I must give the approximate stats again:

120,000 kids a year legally free for adoption.

Each year, 20,000 kids age out of the foster care system without families, leaving them virtually with no one for support as an adult.

Of those 20,000 who age out without a family, 75% of them will end up homeless, incarcerated or DEAD in 10 years.

I say all that to say this: Just because you can't do it doesn't mean other people can't. I recently heard that a judge who was talking to a mom about leaving her 9 kids for a court hearing about getting more said that "she couldn't even leave her own kid alone with her husband for an hour." Thus, this woman's husband could not handle their nine home alone for two days.

My husband has done all of our kids alone for a week before while I was speaking.... and yes, he is unusual and awesome -- cooks, irons, helps with laundry and cleaning, can preach the best funeral sermon in southwestern MN, and is a nurturing wonderful father -- but just because your husband can't do it, doesn't mean mine can't.

So, I say all this to say this: If you have 1 kid or if you have 39, they will take up all your time. So don't worry about not having enough time to add another child. It works out. And most of our kids, just ask Cindy's don't think they missed out on anything because they had a lot of sibs. In fact, several of my kids are already talking about how many children they will adopt.

I'm not saying that everyone can parent 39, but I do think you can parent at least one more than you already have. Email me and I'll tell you about some kids available in this country who do not have a single person interested in adopting them...

OK, Ok, I'm done. For the moment.