Friday, January 11, 2008

Cognitive Dissonance or Things Are Not Always What They Seem


My commenter yesterday pointed out something very true in regards to appearances. Usually I am more gracious than that and don't judge people by their appearances but I was just appalled at the group of new peers my daughter was making and they didn't "look" like good kids. I guess they could have all just been first offenders like Salinda, but it was shocking to see how much she didn't fit in with this group of kids in regards to appearance.

But speaking of appearance, there is no too people more different in our family in regards to caring about the way they look than Rand and Salinda. Rand has to be closely supervised in regards to every kind of hygiene. He hates to shave, I have to make him wear clean clothes. He doesn't care if his clothes fit and he wears a 4X. He wears very old stuff and would wear the same thing every day for months and not care if I didn't stop him. And developmentally he is often more like a grade school kid than an adult.

Salinda on the other hand wears a size zero. It takes her 2 hours to get ready every morning. As you have noticed, she straightens her hair and wears loads of make up (which she buys most of her self). She will refuse a family outing if she isn't given enough prep time to look perfect.

The other day I had to have Rand give Salinda a ride to get a haircut because I was in the middle of the project. While Salinda was getting her hair cut, Rand got bored and started playing with the toys set up for the little kids. Now, at 6'5" and weighing probably 375, I'm sure it was quite the sight.

Salinda said that the hairstylist kept looking at her and looking at Rand over and over again. Finally she just had to ask. Because they are of different races, she couldn't assume they were siblings or related in anyway, so she with much doubt asked, 'Is that your boyfriend?"

Can you imagine perfect Salinda's horror. "NO!" she replied.

"Oh" the stylist replied, seeming relieved. "Because he's over there playing with toys."

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