It is almost time for Salinda to come home and my heart is pounding and my palms are sweaty. there is a good chance she is going to punish us for saying no. I hate that and it makes me nervous because I know how much power she thinks she has over us. Uses her anger and her power to try to get us to give her her way.
The nice thing is that I called her mental health worker today who was shocked that she even asked to make a trip like the one she requested. She doesn't know that it should ever happen. So, having that backup doesn't hurt at all. She wants us to get together to make that clear in a case plan.....
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She came home and handed me a letter than declares she will no longer be calling us Mom and Dad because she doesn't trust us. She is furious that we are saying no and she is going to make us pay. She is one tough thing and she intends to make us pay.
The trick is that I have to maintain a calm distance from her. But she is very good at what she does and she can create a ton of tension in our home. Hopefully I'll be able to talk to her, but I've already asked her to do so and she is refusing.
I still have faith that in the long run, we will have an attached, successful adult daughter. But right now she is really pushing me to my limits in her refusal to be ever accept the word no.
It doesn't help that I haven't had enough sleep.
6 comments:
Have you taken a nap?
Yuck. Now it's a test to see who breaks first. I'll be praying for you!
Stand your ground. It'd be a cold day in Hell before I'd let any 15 year old girl hang with any guy much less 75 miles away and her in the DJJ system. Wouldn't happen.
I know that you adore this girl and it sounds like you want a relationship with her that she is not capable of having right now. She is beautiful, but way too "mature" for a 15 yo. Stay strong on this issue and the many more to come because it sounds like she's going to test you to death. I really wish these kids could just act like kids instead of 15 going on 30. Just be her mother and make sure you do what you think is in your families' best interest - all of your kids are watching how you handle her and will remind you of what she "gets away with" when their day comes. She has no right to be spouting off about "trust" when you know her track record and how untrustworthy she's shown herself to be.
Hang in there and don't back down. You are right and she needs to learn that sometimes the answer is "no" and she just has to deal with it. Don't let her get to you - you are in my prayers.
Hang in there Claudia! I'm glad you are hanging tough and telling her "no." There are more kids out there, adopted and homemade, who need to hear that more often.
In the meantime, I would just not answer when she called me by anything other than some form of "Mom." Maybe a bit stubborn of me, but why validate and reward her for her stated plan to be disrespectful and manipulative.
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