Tried Something New -- I Statements

Yesterday I tried something new with Teenage Daughter #1. I used I statements. Something that i learned years ago when I was getting my Master's in Counseling.

yes, I have a Master's in Counseling. Isn't that hilarious? I am one of the worst listeners ever and certainly am not a person who can sit around and wait for other people to come up with their own conclusions. I want to tell people what to do, and that is NOT therapy. But I digress.

Anyway, i learned to make I statements. Instead of "you made me so mad when you ...." I said, "I felt so hurt and angry when I found out that....".

At first it didn't go well. I was accused of trying to make her feel bad, of never recognizing it when she did well, of not doing a good job of showing my pride in her good choices, yada yada. I kept coming back to "I'm only letting you know how I feel. I haven't decided if I'm even going to consequence you, but I needed to tell you how I felt."

She left the office in tears and in a huff, which is pretty typical. But later she made the right decision.

And by the way, your comments helped. Especially when Yondalla said, "Nobody can do a good job parenting teenage girls."

ANd now it's the beginning of another day.