Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Being Set up to Fail

Anybody else have children who set you up to fail?

I have a couple kids who always do. If I talk to them I'm in their face and they want me to back off and leave them alone. If I don't talk to them, I should have asked them if they needed anything. If I come on time they don't want me waiting for them early but if I show up a minute late I'm inconveniencing them. If I ask about how things are going, I'm nosy and overbearing. If I don't ask, then I don't care and am distant and unloving.

Regardless of the situation, any conversation when I'm backed into a corner like that will not end well. My buttons get pushed too many times and even though I know better, the jack in the box pops up and then it's downhill from there.

Anybody else have kids who set you up to fail?


Monica said...

My thirteen year old daughter does it all the time. She likes to make a big emotional deal over what she thinks I should have said or done or not said or done that would have played better into whatever drama she's having. I tell her maybe she should give me my script ahead of time so I can better prepare.

Lisa said...

My 14 yo son does this ALL THE TIME. He is actually making quite a game out of it (he's amused by it apparently - I'm not). He will come to me and say, ask if he can read a book, I say "sure, go ahead" and he gets one. Reads it for a few minutes and says, "can I get a different one?" Now, if I say yes, he'll go get another one, and do this over and over (making me nuts). If I say "no, finish what you start" or don't respond at all, he'll start saying things like, "Why won't you answer me? Why are you forcing me to read this stupid book? I don't want to read this book! Why are you doing this to me?". I feel like I'm constantly being baited so he has someone to argue with. I accepted the fact that I am ALWAYS wrong and NEVER do anything right. If I'm telling his psychiatrist something he's done or said, he'll look shocked and say, "that's a lie! I never said that! What are you trying to do to me?" as if I'm just trying to have him committed or something. I liken his constant harassment to being slowly pecked to death by a very persistent chicken (lol). Lately, if I tune him out and don't respond he'll come up to me and poke my shoulder repeatedly to get me to respond or start picking on one of the other kids to get me to say something to him and then try to pick up where he left off. He either needs to stop this or I'm going to have to record an answer for him that I just keep playing over and over (didn't you have that idea once? I heard it somewhere). Something fun like, "I cannot speak to you right now, please write your complaint out in triplicate and turn it into me after 5 pm" - gotta laugh at something!