Saturday, August 22, 2009

Two Amazing Cindy's

Having online friends is really cool. Having online friends that you actually get to meet in person is even cooler. Having an online friend that you actually saw across the room but didn't talk to, well, that is very cool too. In a different sort of way.

Most of you know that Cindy and I have been friends for a long time. I convinced her to start blogging, which should mean that i have more readers than she does, but of course, she passed me by long ago. But she did me right yesterday with a great review of the book that you have to check out.

The "other Cindy" is a young thing that I met online via blogs a long time ago -- like back when she had no kids. ANd now she has three. And last year she decided to get skinny and she did. ANd I decided to get skinny and I got a little skinnier except that then I got less skinny again. Anyway...

A couple years ago she was doing a visit at the CPS office in her city and I saw her from a distance when I was speaking in the building -- and I saw a couple of her kids and the kids birth family -- and I thought for sure it was her -- but I wasn't sure enough to say hi, plus I figured she would be a bit stressed out, so I left her alone. Later we talked and I was right. It was her.

Anyway, we have formed quite an interesting friendship. She is as competitive as I am and she and I try to beat each other in stupid face book games. And lately she's kicking my butt. Plus now she's skinny and gorgeous. AND she got invited to write an article for Adopting Families Magazine, which I have never been asked to do.

So, all those things combined, she is basically kicking my butt, so I figured that now that she has surpassed me in every arena, she might forget me -- one of the little people. But NOPE. last night I got a copy of an email that she sent to Adoptive Families on our behalf and I'm gong to put it here. Cuz I want to and she can't stop me. :-)

I also wanted to mention something you may find helpful in what you're doing on Foster Care Adoption. I know you mentioned you already have two other people writing about older child adoption but I'd like to recommend another source in case you need it. You may even already know about them since they regularly speak around the country and are very active in the foster adopt community. Claudia and Bart Fletcher have adopted 12 kids (older kids) and some of them have now transitioned into adulthood. One of the most important things about adopting an older child (in my opinion) is understanding thatparenting these kids is a commitment that may not always include a love that is visibly returned. Her writing is incredibly honest and straightforwardand gives great insight into what adoptive parents are walking into when adopting children that are older and have special needs. Claudia even points out that while many people consider these issues to be problematic with older children, it is also a big concern with kids who are adopted as babies/toddlers. Because of early environment (drug/alcohol exposure, etc) some children will have lifelong issues regardless of the age they were when adopted. The Fletchers' story is not necessarily one that would make all potential adoptive parents view foster care as a viable option but I think it does something even more important. It sheds light on what can be the reality of adopting these kids and gives adoptive parents the information they need up front to make a decision about what they can really commit themselves to. Their experience is touching and genuine and they openly share all the ups and downs - they deal with everything from ADHD/FAS/RAD to teenage pregnancy. And they do it with such grace and love that you can't help but love them. They have just published a book that is the best resource for pre-adoptive (and adoptive) parents I've ever seen. Check out Claudia's blog at and the link to their book 'Out of Many, One Family How two adults claimed twelve children through adoption' is:

She signed it.... just an FYI.

Both of these reviews are humbling and well written and the time it took each of them to give us their vote of confidence is amazing.

Thanks girlfriends.. you both rock!

1 comment:

Cindy said...

Did you just call me comparison?