Thursday, June 24, 2010
The Complex Seems More Simple at the Moment
A few years ago I used to blog every detail about Sailnda and my intense feelings about our relationship, the negative ways that we interacted, and the stress she caused me (and I her). Since more and more people who could happen to come across the blog have gotten involved in her life I have stopped sharing details, but I know that you have correctly assumed that it has not gotten less complex. The layers of stress that she lives under every day (at her own choice (the reasons for which I cannot for the life of me pin down) are pretty incredible, and yet she continues to choose them.
As a parent, I believe that children, especially in their upper teens, should make their own choices with guidance from their parents and live with the consequences. I spend time thinking of ways to rescue her, but then in the end I don't. I just let her face them, one at a time, and help here unravel the messes when she asks for help, which isn't often.
Bringing the girls and the baby to AZ was a gift to my parents, and I had to tell myself that often this week as things were getting more stressful. But after a blow up between Salinda and I, the air was cleared and the rest of the trip has been fine.
Last night she remembered she had two different friends here in town and they were able to come over to the hotel and visit with the girls while I worked in the lobby bar (no, I did not get drunk. Nor did I get picked up? Can you imagine that? Me, such a vision of beauty :-> (emoticon for sarcasm) being ignored in a bar full of middle-aged businessmen? Not a single one approached me.
Gabby had not slept more than a couple hours at a time up at my parents, but us all sharing a hotel room I knew would be tricky. I asked God for the gift of 6 hours of sleep and Gabby slept SEVEN straight. The girls are still asleep and Gabby is lying next to Salinda playing quietly. Ocassionally she will poke her head up over the pillow and glance at me. It's very cute.
So from here everything looks pretty simple. There are challenges ahead, but we'll face them one at a time. All is calm now, and it will all be calm again sometime, with some stress in between. And if we can make it, one day at a time, we'll all survive.