Tuesday, October 04, 2011

Contiuous Flurry of Activity

Was getting ready to come to my office this morning --- I only come here once a week and typically work from home -- but today was go to the office day so I was collecting my stuff and sorting through it during my normal blogging time.

Salinda is supposedly going to be here with her boyfriend to talk with Bart about the baptism on Sunday even though they are supposedly not together. Not sure if she's stay or not. She hasn't spoken to me or texted since the text on Saturday.

We don't know where John is. His gf texted yesterday that her dad had dropped his stuff off at our house, that she didn't know where he was, and that she was too stressed out to talk about it. We haven't heard from him. The birthday party for Isaac is supposed to be this weekend too.

Drama drama drama. I hate it and I'm not one to create it -- but it seems that it comes to me now.

I was telling Bart the other day that we probably better get used to being calm in the midst of a tornado because in 3 years we will have 11 adult children -- and many of them will probably be having drama.

I think the thing that annoys me more than anything is that my adult kids kind of have a remote for us. When they need us they grab the remote, flip us on and suddenly we exist. This is usually during times of stress or when they need something. The rest of the time we apparently do not exist, especially when things are going well.

Now I just have to get used to turning off my thoughts about them when they turn me off. Anybody mastered that yet?


Kathleen said...

Perhaps eventually their use of the remote for us, and our responses, will translate into greater trust...

I have found that their adulthood, and our continued interactions with them, have helped to calm some of their fears... but it has still taken 2-3-more years after turning 18 for them to really "get" that we're here to stay.

I have also found that with at least one of ours, asking for help in return is good - she likes feeling needed! Even if it's running an errand or being home for a repairman...

We're celebrating two grandbaby birthdays this month as well... granddaughter turns 2 today, grandson turns 1 on 10/19.

Oh, and actually, yes, I CAN generally turn off thoughts/worries
about adult children during those times they've hit the off button on the remote - as long as they are not living at home or otherwise directly impacting my life.

Miscellaneous thoughts....

Anonymous said...

When I don't hear from mine for several days, I just re-frame it from being ignored to my kid has achieved his independence. It sounds good, doesn't it? :)

Lisa said...

I think that it gets easier with time. My dd has only been gone 5 mos and she's still texting me things to goad me into getting angry at her for her choices - somehow knowing that's her intention makes it easier for me to disconnect and take care of ME in that situation, to not engage or give her justification for her anger. Another dd has been gone almost 3 years, works, lives far away so we don't see her much, she doesn't ask for anything - but still has her little bouts of drama she needs to share once in awhile. It hurts to know we don't seem to hold the same value To them that we hold For them but it is what it is. I try to look at it like this, they are probably loving us the best they can considering their many issues.