Saturday, May 29, 2010

Timing my Meltdowns

Because of some information I received last night, we are probably going to need to give Ricardo a drug test, which would explain his mood changes, sleeping all day, etc. But the whole idea of this happening and me having to confront it is making me stressed. Not to mention then the question as to whether or not one of his older siblings is providing him with whatever he is using, which takes me into another level of stress.

The vehicle purchased by one of our adult children who has no license or insurance is already making me crazy. It's here when he's not. It's not here when he is. And if I assume that it's not here so he isn't, I"m stupid and should have woken him up for work. Apparently he was already pulled over once and then had the car impounded for something unrelated all within the first 48 hours of owning it. I knew it wasn't going to be a good plan, but of course, as Jimmy would say, "That's not rocket science." I think you probably would have been able to figure that out too, dear blog reader.

For the past 12 years, we have had a "clean your room quick on Saturday morning before you turn on electronics" rule. It's worked sometimes very well and sometimes not so well. But our two children who have been here all of those twelve years, decided it didn't apply to them, resulting in the exclamation, "Thanks a lot, mom, you've ruined my GDMF day." And the other "child" when I turned off the TV and took away the food he was eating in the living room, punched me and spit in my face and then kept declaring that he didn't "mean to."

I went out to the garage to get away from escalating him and to have a crying meltdown of my own. I could count the number of times I cried between the ages of 18 and 32 on one hand. I'm just not one for crying. It's a huge time waster if you ask me. So when I got out to the van and sat and cried I started getting impatient with myself. I gave myself a time limit as to how much time would be wasted by me crying. Bart came out to talk with me for a bit and by the deadline I was done.

I kind of laughed at myself though. I mean who puts time limits on their own meltdowns?


FosterAbba said...

I am sorry things are going so poorly at the moment. I do wonder, though, why did you not call police when your child punched you?

I'm not passing judgment -- I'm just curious. We've had problems with our daughter becoming violent and attacking us. At this point, she's going away to a summer boot camp in the hopes that it will improve her behavior.

Once she gets back, any hitting will be met with a swift call to 911.

Claudia said...

We did that "call the police route" and we saw where it led our kids. Residential treatment did not help them, it simply introduced them to a network of people who they could later run around with and taught them things they did not need to learn.

This child is controllable at home. He hit me, but it wasn't with the intent to seriously injure me. He lives right on the edge of needing me to call the police, but he knows he hasn't pushed it to the limit. He has grown up knowing where our limits are.

And I'm fine now. I told you, I time my meltdowns. I'm actually feeling quite good at the moment.

odd, huh?

GB's Mom said...

I know the feeling- knowing just how long you can afford to meltdown before your meltdown starts making everything worse. {{{Hugs}}}

Little Wonder said...

I guess I don't get why it's such a big deal for us to have our own meltdowns...I do all the time. Not in front of the kids, of course, but I cry, I curse, I throw things all as an avenue of venting my own frustrations...I don't think it means someone is stronger if they don't give in once in a while. :D Hang in there! You do amazing work and you are an amazing momma!!p

Miz Kizzle said...

I'm sorry you had such a crappy morning. A drug test sounds like a good idea, at least to confirm whether the information you got is true or not. How reliable the OTC drug test are I don't know; I've heard conflicting things, especially if the testee is on medication of any kind, including some non[prescription stuff for hay fever.
As for "controlling it," as you put it, you really can't. The best you can do is set limits declaring what you will and will not tolerate and stick to it. I've been told that Nar-Anon is very helpful for the loved ones of drug abusers but I don't have any personal experience. All I can say is I'm sorry.

Marcella said...

If it makes you feel any better, I put time limits on my meltdowns once I settle down enough. I also have to go back and apologize for flipping out occaisionly. I have a hard time walking away for kids who are basicly adults trying to over rule me.