Friday, May 28, 2010

Turning the Corner

There comes a point where you have to stop regretting, realize it is what it is, turn that corner, and make the best of things. I have done that for me, and now i have to do it for my kids.

We acquired a lot of children quickly. And they were all children. And things were OK. There were lots and lots of days where things were really good. The kids went to the park and they played well with each other and we watched them climb and throw sand at each other at the lake and look cute and innocent and fun.

And then they started, one by one, to become teenagers, and then somewhere along the line there were more teenagers than kids, and then all the sudden they weren't being cute and innocent and fun anymore and they started making bad decisions and getting arrested and heading into murky waters. And we began to go through a phase where we kept looking at each other and saying, "this isn't what we signed up for."

And so we went through the regretting and the anger and frustration of what was and the realization that we were there because of the choices we had made. And we pouted and regretted for a while and moaned and whined and wished things were different. But eventually we had to stop blaming ourself for the past choices that had led us to our current situation and move on. We had to embrace what was and make the best of it.

Two or three of my children are currently in that position and I seemed to have gone through the same thing with them as I have gone through regret and anger and frustration and what is.. I see what has become of their young lives due to the choices they have made. And I inwardly have been pouting and regretting and moaning and whining and and wishing things were different for them. But today I'm going to stop blaming them for their past choices that have led them to their current situation and move on. I'm going to help them embrace what is and make the best of it.

I think it's time.


GB's Mom said...

You are an A-one mother. woulda, coulda, shoulda doesn't help anybody and your kids would find it very hard to get out of that place without your help :)

brenkachicka said...

One of the best things we can do for ourselves is to embrace our failures and learn from them. We also need to teach our children how to do this. Life is too short to wallow in what might have been.

Lee said...

I love the fact that you truly seem to parent from a position of grace (and I am a UU and don't use that term lightly or often )