Today we got news that the county is probably going to make a decision that will further damage the already fragile relationship we have with our son in the RTC. When I first heard the news I was nauseous. My extremities were cold. It brought back all kinds of memories of feeling trapped.
I wanted to escape. I wanted to eat a lot of food I shouldn't. I wanted to leave my house -- drive to the mall and buy something. I wished I had a friend I could call in the middle of the day and escape with. I felt incredibly frustrated, sick, and claustrophobic.
But I redirected myself. I fixed a healthy lunch, I sat down and tackled a task for work I didn't want to do. I opened the window so lots of heat would come in to warm my extremities.
I let it go and moved on.
Something I can't always do.
And whenever I can conquer myself, it's a victory.
Because often my biggest enemy is in the mirror.
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