Something that Counts -- more rambling

Today I was in rare form. Cranking out work like a machine almost non-stop. And I'm still buried.

There is an optimum level of life for me -- it exists somewhere between overwhelmed and completely overwhelmed. Lately I have felt like I am beyond my optimum level to the point that I can't handle it. But I can't stop too long to think about it, I must keep pressing on.

There is a joy in this -- working like an obsessive compulsive maniac workaholic the entire day of my 42nd birthday, eating lunch at my desk -- and the joy is this:

What I'm doing counts. At the end (or actually, sort of in the middle, as I still will work another couple hours, have a delicious meal prepared at my request by my husband with our seven children who are at home and our two guests, attend bell practice, help with homework, and put kids to bed) of the day, I can say that what I am doing really matters.

I was talking to a friend of mine last night who is an immigrant from Central America. She has already given birth to nine children. Three of them are here in the U.S. with her and her husband, the other six are with grandparents in their home country. I found out today that she is 33.

She told me that yesterday she worked for 9 hours at a machine that cuts meat. She said that her arms hurt, her back hurt, her legs hurt. She said that if it wasn't for the grace of God, that machine would have cut off her three middle fingers on one hand yesterday because it malfunctioned. She said that her work is very, very hard. And she gets paid a fraction of what I do.

Today I had a very different kind of day. I sat at my desk almost the whole day. I sent out 142 separate emails today, some of them to as many as 85 people each. I got up a few times to change laundry, once to go to the orthodontist, once to go to the psychiatrist, and once to go to the store.

If any part of my body hurts, it is from sitting too long. I didn't almost lose my fingers.

All those are blessings, but the real clincher is that what I did today ultimately matters. Even if I was using my education and experiences to climb the corporate ladder, it might still mean that my time was being invested in nothing more than working hard to make money so that someone else could make money to pay other people to make money.

Instead, my work goes to finding permanent families for children who wait. Ultimately, I have a chance through what I'm doing, with God's help and guidance, to direct a family to the child or children who need them most. Those children will have a safe place to work through all the abuse and neglect they have experienced. They will have a chance to grow up in an environment where they learn a new way of life. They will also have a chance to break the generational cycle of poverty, addiction, criminal activity, and domestic violence that their family of origin may have experienced for generations.

So, while other people are working long hours to do something that means nothing, my countless hours of relentlessly attempting to match children with families will ultimately matter. It will count.

And for that I am incredibly grateful. Not only do I have a job where I don't have to abuse my body, but I have a job that has the ability to impact the world forever as every life that is turned around will have a transforming effect on every generation to come.

How could I ask for more?