It Happens All the Time

and the next line is not “This crazy love of mine.”

It happens every time I try to sleep in. This morning by 7:30 I had been interrupted 4 times. I should have just gotten up at 7 as usual and skipped the attempts at sleep.

One of the issues of the morning is whether or not Salinda could go on an overnight trip with a friend on a Saturday night. At our house, we don’t do overnights on Saturday. But instead of just telling her friend that last night, she hoped against hope the rule was suddenly going to change today.

I remember when I did this back when I was 8. My parents are very conservative and back in the 70s and 80s to them this meant no movies and no dancing. I never saw a single movie in the theatre until I was 18 and I’ve never danced. Even had a note so I wouldn’t have to square dance in school.

But one day I spent a Friday night with a friend and the next morning her mom announced to all the kids (there were 11 of them, 12 if you count me) that if they all pitched in to clean the house all morning long we would go see Charlotte’s Web. I remember convincing myself (foolishly) that if I worked very hard my mom and dad would certainly change the rule and I would get to see my first movie. After all, I had earned it and they weren’t going to have to pay for it.

You guessed it ... I went home while they went to the movie and I was outwardly mad, but inwardly not surprised at all. Child-rearing specialists suggest that when it comes to rules, they serve as a ceiling for bed jumpers -- they need to know where the limits are. Once and a while they jump too high and hit their head, but even hitting their head makes them feel safe.

I don’t know for sure what if anything I’ll say to Salinda today. She may or may not be moody and crabby. But I’m tempted to say something like: All families have their rules. Some families don’t celebrate birthdays (she “went out” with a boy whose family is Jehovah’s Witness for a couple weeks). Some families are required to go to every sporting event for every sibling. Some families, like mine when I was growing up, don’t dance or go to movies and get spanked for saying “Gosh, Heck, or Dang.” Some families if you want breakfast you have to go to the fast food dumpster and find it for yourselves. Some families you have to lie quietly while your mother’s boyfriend rapes you. And in this family, we don’t do sleepovers on Saturdays, we eat supper as a family every night, we go to church, etc.

MIght be a bit harsh.

Parenting is tricky -- but one thing I do know. As long as parents are consistent and provide guidelines kids can survive the rules of their families. If I survived all the rules that we had, these kids will sure live through the ones we impose.