Somedays I just Suck at This

Yup, used that Suck word again. Definitely can’t let my mother see this blog.

The key to having a high quality of life and adopt kids with special needs is to not let things get to you -- to just let everything happen around you and not get pissed (most very definitely cannot let my mother see this blog).

Tonight everything is getting to me and I’m driving myself crazy because of it. What I do is I go through these stages where I decide to loosen up a little bit and not be so strict. But then it’s like this avalanche of filth comes pouring into my world. I allow a snowball and it turns into an avalanche.

But to never allow snowballs (figuratively) seems like such a drudgery of a life. If I never give anyone an inch, then how am I going to be able to say that I trust them at all? How am I going to be able to see what they are capable? But it is amazing how fast an inch turns into a mile around here.

If I run everything like Atilla the Hun, I have kids who don’t like me much but we have order and everything runs fairly smoothly. They don’t like living here much, but we don’t end up in chaos. If I let up a little, they like it here a lot more, but all of the sudden I’m buried, snowed under, angry and crabby.

I could give example after example, but it would just make me even more annoyed going through them all in my head. But tonight I have evidence of either hidden or blatant disregard for my values being displayed all over the place by at least 4 of my 10 children.

I don’t know what I was thinking. I should have remained single and childless!