Christmas Dinner Interrupted

Bart spent most of the day preparing another feast. Turkey, Ham, and all the fixings. A huge meal. Delicious.

We all sat down to the meal, a packed table. Twelve of us and every inch of the table covered. Five minutes into it, Mike called asking again for his Christmas gifts. I didn't want to prolong the conversation and he sounded anything but sober so I simply said, "you have the IPod and the NIntendo D.S. Goodnight, Mike."

He called back. I didn't answer. He called back. I unplugged the phone.

I mentioned to Bart that I wasn't interested in listening to the message alone. While some of us were still sitting at the table, came down and listened to them. He mentioned I probably wouldn't want to hear them and that he was talking about mail.

I figured out immediately what he was assuming. In years past relatives have sent money to the kids for Christmas. He thought he had some here and he wanted it. Problem is, there isn't any here.

So Bart and I came and celebrating Christmas night by listening to Mike verbally abuse me on the answering machine. He was threatening me with a "federal offense" if I, the dumb s***, the stupid b****, opened his mail.

I should have taken the call the first time and saved myself the hassle. The only mail he has here is from his attorney and I haven't opened it.

But his timing was impeccable. ANy other time today and he could have called and only disturbed me. But instead he called in the middle of the meal and the whole family ate in trouble silence for several minutes before we could recover.

We have paperwork for a harassment restraining order. It's time to fill that out.