Today has been one of those days. One of those days when I just don't have what it takes to be me. Salinda carried on punishing me until about a half hour ago. Realizing the extent of the hatred she has for me is troubling, but I"m trying to remember much of what i've read from parents who have made it past these years with teenage girls.
Today I was just so depressed, which is not like me at all. I was crying at the drop of a hat and then I would start to tell myself that I really had nothing to be depressed about because so many people have it worse than me, but then that would make my cry harder knowing that I shouldn't be sad. I was pathetic.
Tony has been especially awful to me today, and that combined with Salinda's pure hatred has done a number on me.
But even when I am at my lowest, I only allow myself one day and then I am done. So tomorrow I will wake up determined that it will be better. I hope to get lots of sleep tonight and then awaken with a fresh start.
But dang that Salinda can be a punitive, cruel, mean little thing. Wow.
2 comments:
This IS Holiday Hell. Her hatred is also misdirected towards herself but aimed at you...remember it's not really about us at all. I know this is terribly painful though. This is our life's calling so, of course, we take it personally. We are very emotionally invested in our children, and someday they will be equally so in us.
Reading this post reminded me of the month of September. Wish we could just wipe it off the calendar this year. LOL Only, in my case, it was our 8 year old & recently adopted 5 year old making me feel horrible about myself.
Hang in there,
Angela :-)
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