You're Ugly and I Hate You

Leon is 12. Historically I have not been able to do well with 12 year olds. When Kyle was that age we clashed like there was no tomorrow and Tony during his 12th year has nearly pushed me over the edge at least weekly.

But Leon. Wow does that kid make me smile. He is smart, witty, has a great sense of humor. And he has some of Kyle's personality quirks without the anger or the nasty moods that Kyle used to have. He is negative and picky about everything, but instead of letting that bother me, I just tease him.

And for some reason he is not morally opposed to having a mother who loves him. In fact, when I was explaining to Kyle that Leon kind of liked to stay around the house. Tony said he was a "mama's boy" and he didn't even disagree. I nearly fainted. He even gave me a card this morning -- first time I've ever gotten a Christmas card from one of my kids. He got Bart one too. It said, "For a special Mom at Christmas.... Thinking of the joy's you're brought, the nice things that you do. And hoping that your Christmas, Mom, is special -- just like you. Merry Christmas". And he signed it "from your handsom son Leon."

He sits next to me at the dinner table. It is a place reserved for the newest kid. And every day after we'd pray before a meal, holding hands as we always do, I would look at him and say "you're cute. I like you." And he would groan.

So after a few weeks of this I said, "would you rather have me say "You're ugly and I hate you?" And he said, "YES!" And I responded, "and you'll know what that means?" and he smiled.

So now, several times a day I'll say those words. And every time I do his eyes start twinkling and his dimple pops out in his left cheek. It's the same response every time and it's adorable.

Last night we got to church 15 minutes early and it was already packed. The front row was open though and I decided I would sit there with Dominyk when he arrived with Kyle. I gave instructions to the ushers to send him up there and invited anyone else who wanted to to come up with me. Only Leon came up front with me.

I glanced at him during the service, this new son of mine. So different than my 9 others. So calm, so collected, so obedient. Occasionally i reach over and rub his back and he doesn't resist. We light our Christmas Candles and we are standing there in the candlelight singing "Silent Night, Holy Night, All is Calm, All is Bright."

And I lean over and whisper to him, "You're Ugly Son, and I Hate you" and his bright almond eyes, glowing in the candlelight, look up at me, and slowly, the dimple appears, the smile widens, and he glances up at me with a look of affection.

And at that moment I knew that all was right with the world.