Thursday, January 06, 2011

An Epiphany on Epiphany


If you google define epiphany there are four definitions

1. a Christian festival, observed on January 6, commemorating the manifestation of Christ to the gentiles in the persons of the Magi; Twelfth-day.

2. an appearance or manifestation, esp. of a deity.

3. a sudden, intuitive perception of or insight into the reality or essential meaning of something, usually initiated by some simple, homely, or commonplace occurrence or experience.

4. a literary work or section of a work presenting, usually symbolically, such a moment of revelation and insight.

So today, on definition number 1, I had a definition number 3. ;-)

I read one sentence this morning that got me thinking about my kids. I have been so frustrated with the fact that I can't seem to get them to turn the corner where they care more about their future and their life than I do. And some of them are getting a bit old and that needs to happen for them soon. All of our kids but two will be 16 or over by March (can you believe that???) and other than Kyle, who is not living at home, don't seem to be at that point yet. Their day to day comfort (at my expense) seems to be their only preoccupation.

But today it hit me that God is the only one who is going to be able to change these kids. And my words seem to have an opposite affect on them that what I intend. Instead of motivating them, they push them in the other direction. So, here is my epiphany that happened on Epiphany:

What if I talked to God more about my kids behavior and choices than I talked to my kids about them? I wonder if this would make a difference. It actually couldn't hurt, really, because I'm beating my head against the wall. And I'm thinking maybe, just maybe, God might be able to do a bit more than I can. :->

So it's my goal to do two things. One is to come up with a list of specific things that I want to see happen in the lives of my kids -- little things -- one for each -- and I'm going to pray that God works in their lives to make that one change. It's going to be kind of an experiment -- not to test God's ability -- but to boost my own faith.

If you've never tried praying specifically, you should give it a shot. I think we want to make excuses for God to let Him off the hook if He can't handle our requests. Things like "well God can't do it if they don't cooperate" or "why would God care about that little part of my life." So in all of our excuses we help out puny little God who can't handle my requests. God hardened and softened hearts in the Old Testament. Can't he do that in my kids?

I'm joining a book study, not led by me, with some women at church and we are going to read Crazy Love by Francis Chan. I have read the intro, preface and first chapter this week in preparation for tonight and the first chapter is all about recognizing how powerful God really is. And yet I still find myself making excuses for Him and not wanting to ask Him for things He might not be able to handle. What in the WORLD am I thinking? ;-)

The second thing that I am going to attempt to do -- and I will probably fail more times than I succeed, but if I even do it once a day it will be better than nothing -- is to stop myself from saying something to my children and instead pray asking God to help them. I wonder if asking God to remind them to do their chore or care about their homework or stop spending time with a friend that is a bad influence might be more effective. I'm certainly getting nowhere lately.

Has anyone ever tried this? Anybody want to try it with me?

2 comments:

Angela :-) said...

I need fairly frequent reminders, but this entire school year, I've been trying to spend more time in prayer about my children's issues and my reaction to them. God can change people.

So, I'm in.

Angela :-)

Ruth said...

Oh I can so relate!!! But my kids are 5 and 6 . So the issues aren't as life effecting!
But something I've learned from some relationships I have. I can't make choices for other people, I can't change the way they act/ think. I can pray for them and I do. But so often I've found god changes me more then them! I just have to be open to that change. God gives me the ability to accept things I didn't think I could tolerate in people close to me!
Just this morning (after a challenging week) I informed my kids that I realize I can't make choices for them and they obviously can't make good choicEs on their own... So they need to sit and talk to GOd because obviously only he can help them!