Sunday, April 29, 2012

You Can't Make me, You Can't Make Me, You Can't Make Me

Remember that episode from Gilligans Island? Well, in my world it doesn't work that way -- because after Gilligan said those things three times he still did it in the end.

Here it's not always true. With this large group of teenagers I am in a world where I can't make anyone do anything. There are two that pick mornings as their battleground. I have finally given up and let my daughter ride to school with a friend so that she can be tardy almost every day. And the son who won't get up walks several times a month because I just leave him.

But when it comes to church on Sundays there really isn't much I can do. If they don't come to church they don't get our usual trip out to eat, but that isn't motivating to them any more. So they need to come simply because they are supposed to ... and it isn't easy. I know that there are many of you who would say that we shouldn't FORCE our kids to go to church, but it's a family value and obviously we can't force them. But it is an expectation -- not that they believe like we do, but that we go as a family once a week.

The interesting thing is that the two who refuse to get up are the ones who are most vocal about sharing our faith. Go figure.

The trick is me keeping myself sane with the weekly battles in my head. Do i wake them up or leave them to sleep and let the people at church express concerns about their absence? Well, this morning I might have done that but one of them is supposed to make an announcement in church this particular morning....

should I leave when it is time to leave or wait the extra five ... or ten... minutes and have us all be late? Or should I take the others and come back for the ones who don't or won't get up on time?

And by the time this 30 minutes of my Sunday is over each week I NEED church just to calm myself down.

I'm not necessarily asking for advice... it's just the same decisions I have to make every Sunday. However, there is always that hope, that some day things will click... or they will move out...

At least there is one thing to be grateful for. The two adults we have living at home love to go and are up and gone with Bart before I wake up the others.... unless one of them is working because they schedule him even though he supposedly has told them 30 times that he can't work until 10 on Sundays. But that's another blog post, another rant, for another day.

I'm off to wait and see if they get up... oh, one is screaming at me.... guess I've only got one to worry about...

1 comment:

Miz Kizzle said...

If they're not feelin' it, why make them go to church? Because of "family values?" That's a phrase conservative politicians use but what does it really mean?
Being known as a churchgoing family is a big deal to some people. They think it demonstrates to society as a whole that they are "good people." It goes hand in hand with keeping the lawn mowed and the house clean. I'm not saying you're like that, just that many people are.
Young adults usually give the following reasons for not going to church: (1) It's too early (2) I don't want to get dressed up (3) It's boring (4) None of my friends go.
All valid points, IMHO.
Your kids have the groundwork they need. They know how to pray, they learned the Ten Commandments and they went to Sunday School where they heard the usual Bible stories. Sure, it would be great if they volunteered to lead youth groups or be ushers or whatever, but at least they understand the basics of your religion.
Sometimes they get back into the habit of attending church when they have children of their own or if they start dating someone who's a regular churchgoer.
If the struggle to get them to go to church is making your life miserable then don't do it.