Thursday, January 22, 2009
I live in a house full of vacuums. And it never fails. As a parent of multiple teenagers, many of them with issues, I simply cannot stop myself from getting sucked in some times. I try. I do all the self-talk in the world. I coach myself. I deep breathe. I ignore. I joke. Everything that I know to do, I do it, but there there are days.....
Yesterday was one of those days when I got sucked in to drama. Salinda spent the whole day texting me between classes about how she needed to transfer schools. The threats and demands and insolence popped into my phone every 45 minutes or so and by the end of the day I had cleared an hour in my ridiculous schedule (caused by some unforeseen minor work crisis) to spend time talking to her. But when I picked her up, she refused to say a word.
I worked myself out of the desire to explode and calmed myself but I'm still agitated by the experience. She is unpredictable and who knows how she will be this morning. She may be up and ready early or she may refuse to go to school. And I could do without the stress of her drama for sure.
Another person who constantly sucks me in is Tony. Inevitably each day he will say or do exactly the thing that pushes me over the edge -- or at least to the very end of the edge. He has the skill of either consciously or unconsciously saying just the wrong thing and I find myself having to almost physically restrain myself during particularly stressful moments (mental image of myself attempting to restrain my own body in Jim Carey-like comedy).
And then there is the 175th time that Dominyk announces that he needs a vitamin water (he's no longer allowed to have pop). I think my limit might be 173.
It really shouldn't be that someone is required to use all of their emotional energy during the first 75 minutes of their day. But lately mornings have been like that.