The decision has been made regarding Salinda and online high school. She wants to do i and we are doing the enrollment paperwork this morning. She seems a bit excited and I am thrilled with dread. I need that break from all the kids to focus on my work and now she will be in the house, so either I am going to have to get myself and my feelings under control or I'm going to be miserable.
The key is that I cannot let myself expect anything but disrespect and a lack of cooperation. But I will be stupid enough to expect her to try to please me. I will be stupid enough to expect some respect and cooperation because of the choices and sacrifices I'm making. I will be optimistic enough to think that she will keep the guidelines that we are setting up together.
And that just shows you that I'm a complete idiot. What I need to do is prepare myself for disrespect, lack of cooperation, "forgetting" guidelines, and a daily battle. And the key is that I need to align my thinking so that none of this gets to me. Otherwise, I'm going to have one of the worst semesters of my life.
The sad thing is, she really couldn't care less about me, or my jobs, or my schedule or what I need to get done. And she'll do what she's going to do and it's basically out of my control.
So I guess once again I'm the one who will choose how miserable I'm going to be based on my expectations and my responses to what occurs.
I wish I was dense enough to not understand this and be able to blame the world, but I gotta own it and deal with it.
I'm off to wake up the children and begin a day of withdrawing and enrolling someone who will not appreciate my sacrifices today and will most likely spent a portion of it being rude to me.
Is it healthy or unhealthy to expect that?