Putting Yourself out There

Sometimes I hate my decision to be vulnerable online. I started blogging with that commitment to myself -- that I would tell it like it really was.

Last night one of the kids who does not live here had some concerns about a kid who is living here and talked to another one of the kids who isn't living here to report their concern. These two, who don't live here, apparently felt a need to discuss what might be going on here with each other. Problem is that the two of them have done so many things in the past to harm our reputation and our well being. The irony of them discussing a possible problem here was particularly annoying.

I can't remember exactly what I said on my facebook status update, but it was something to the affect of, "Claudia hates it when people spread rumors as if they are morally superior when they aren't." I intended to follow up with something more specific this morning, including the explanation above. In fact, as I began to think about it, I was planning this post, which I just wrote.

Anyway, to make a long story short, I was reprimanded publicly by someone on Facebook that I haven't sen in 25 years. They suggested that I spent way too much time in facebook, that I needed to learn something about promotion, etc, etc, etc. So on top of the whole situation there was that to deal with.

I deleted the status update and wrote a personal message to the person thanking them for a lesson well learned and will definitely be more careful in the future.

I guess being authentic and blogging from the heart, which most of us do as adoptive parents, isn't really geared toward self promotion. So now that it is time for promotion, apparently I'm hurting myself by putting myself out there.

So I've learned my lesson today. Venting, vague, judgmental facebook status updates are not going to be good for my book promotion. And all the sudden my heart isn't in facebook any more. I'm sure it will return, but for now I'm not feeling like it sounds very fun.

And I woke up to a text from one of the offending parties suggesting that we don't do anything about what's happening at home so they have to take care of it. This was without even asking me what we had done when it was reported to us.

So I am a bit annoyed this morning. Annoyed at my own imperfections and those of others and annoyed at my own false sense of moral superiority.

And I'm wondering how long I can keep putting myself out there....