Time

i realized something this morning. I think I have some inner anger or maybe resentment about all the time my teenagers have and waste.

Yesterday was an unusual day, but unfortunately not that far from typical. I was up at 4:45. I was home from the Y by 6:20. I got 7 kids off to school, giving rides to 5 of them. I was at my training setting up by 8:25. I trained from 8 until 7 without a break. I walked a few steps and started another group which I led until about 8:15 and then I cleaned up and came home. i tried to meet the multiple demands of several children who needed things signed and questions answered and then I spent a few minutes talking with Bart before falling into bed exhausted at 10:20, only to get up at 4:45 again to be back on the treadmill by 5:20.

Meanwhile, I have children who, other than school, did absolutely nothing yesterday and one, in particular who did very little online schooling. The rest of the day they did one chore if they did that (which takes 10 minutes) and that was the extent of their effort. They didn't even do homework.

They are kids, and I get that, but sometimes the contrast between my life and theirs is just too great that when they ask me for a favor involving a great deal of my time when they so very seldom volunteer to give me any of theirs, it's quite infuriating.

I keep reminding myself that this is what parenting is about. But it makes a difference if those who are making the requests ar honestly putting forth good effort to be contributing members of the family.

I suppose all families have givers and takers, but in families with kids with special needs, whatever they might be, the difference is painfully obvious.

It takes a lot of character to continue to give to someone who doesn't give back. I never truly undeerstood what it must feel like to be God until I started parenting children who didn't return my love, who don't give back and who refuse to listen to direction. Made me realize just how often I am that child......