Kyle is home for Easter. We found out yesterday he'd be joining us for 28 hours. He arrived shortly before lunch, which he did because we promised him it would be good. He has been here for about three hours. We went out for lunch and he came home and revealed to Bart that his job had been cut and he has to look for another one. Bart told me so I asked Kyle how long he had known. He said "about a month." and I said, "So you didn't think that was something we might have liked to know?" He said, "Oh. I thought I told you."
I haven't seen him since Christmas and he has only called us when he needed us. He makes it clear he hates to come home. It's a tough relationship for us sometimes. i've mentioned before that having him distance himself when he's never quite gotten the whole relationship piece, while it is age appropriate, is somewhat disconcerting.
So today he may have said five sentences to me personally and he says "So, you guys wanna buy me a suit" to which I did not reply favorably. I tried to explain myself but he just seemed indifferent and in a hurry to be done with our conversation.
I could never pop into someone's life and ask for something if I had not a continuous relationship with them. I would be ashamed and embarrassed to ask someone to buy me something if my own personal choices had made me broke (a spring break vacation to Cancun and a huge car repair bill that was due to ignoring warnings from his dad that he needed to get the tires aligned months ago).
So I said no. And now I feel guilty. Do we need to buy him things so that he will stay in touch with us? Do all parents get asked to buy their kids things forever, even if the kid is making more than his parents? And do parents feel bad if they say no? Is this what we have to look forward to as several of our other children become financially independent?