Thursday, May 14, 2009

Around and Around and Around

I get annoyed by the cycles of life. The routine ones -- laundry gets worn, laundry gets thrown on the floor, laundry gets put in front of the washer, laundry gets washed, laundry gets dried, laundry gets folded, laundry sits around in baskets for too long, laundry gets put away or sometimes not put away and thrown back down the laundry chute clean (but let's not get me started on THAT), laundry gets washed, etc. etc.).

Or dishes get taken out of the cupboard, dishes get put on the table, dishes get food on them, dishes get dirty, dishes get taken to the sink, dishes get rinsed, dishes get put in the dishwasher, dishes get washed, dishes get put away, dishes get put on the table, dishes get food on them, over and over again, day after day, after day, after day.....

Or Tony gets woken up. Tony says something mean to me. Tony can't find clean clothes. Tony yells at me even when the laundry is caught up because his dirty clothes never made it to the laundry. Tony goes to the shower. Tony forgets to take a towel. Tony yells for someone to bring him a towel..... you get the idea.

Or Salinda can't get her way. Salinda gets very mad. Salinda doesn't speak to anyone in the family for a week. Salinda is mean to her mother. Salinda's mother gets more and more anxious. Salinda's mother finally can't take it. Salinda's mother let's her have it. Salinda shapes up until she asks for something else she can't have and can't have her way. Then Salinda gets very mad.

I could give you examples of these things from the life of every kid. Each has their own pattern that they repeat again and again. Some of them are daily, some of them are weekly.

But I suppose I have my own as well. Claudia writes a decent blog entry. Claudia gets nice traffic to her blog. Claudia feels good about that. Claudia then writes drivel. Claudia then starts to whine in her blog. Claudia posts meaningless things. Claudia loses readers. Then out of the blue Claudia writes a decent blog entry. Claudia gets nice traffic to her blog. Claudia feels good about that.......

I think this goes in the meaningless drivel category -- because even though I hate the cycles, I really don't have any answers. I guess life is just like that.

Even at the Fletchers.


Julie said...

Claudia, Marissa is passive aggressive when she isn't getting her way too. It is annoying and isolating. I sometimes feel I need to apologize for her behavior. Recently, she told me, "You don't help me. Why don't you write long and short term goals so I know what I am doing wrong."

Her short term goal: obey the rules and show respect for those in positions of authority.

Long term:

"You needs to hold up your end of relationships without blaming others. You must learn to express and explain your negative feelings, sources of anger, and your opinions—that is, what angers you, what you do and don’t like, and what you disapprove of in a normal, appropriate tone of voice (that is she should not be sarcastic, flippant, nasty or withdraw and refuse to talk).

What you can expect from me: an adult who will listen and try to understand, if the complaint is valid and realistic AND in my sphere of control I am willing to negotiate a change/compromise. I will not, however, give you additional freedoms when you are not demonstrating with your current actions that you can responsibly manage them. I do not have control over what happens in your boyfriend’s family."

Her behavior is better this week, but I think that has more to do with the fact that she gets to take her driver's test on Monday and if she passes she has access to an old vehicle so that she can drive herself to work than that I have showed her the errors of her passive aggressive ways by my awesome parenting. But, I'll take good behavior any way I can get it.

Claudia said...

Julie: Are you sure you aren't parenting Salinda?

Wow, I may steal these....