I don't have time to go into detail, but this morning i was reminded again of why FASD is so incredibly frustrating to parent. I figure it must be frustrating to have when the people who have it are able to focus long enough to let it bother them (and no, I'm not being sarcastic or rude here). But it is definitely very difficult to live around every day.
Part of the problem is that every day is a new day. And while that can be a good thing, I can also be very frustrating. The challenge is that was they learned yesterday may or may not appear in their memory today. And I'm sure that when I get impatient and frustrated at having to repeat myself over and over again, they are hearing things as new information and wondering why I'm so crabby.
This morning I had an argument with a child after a very filthy song was blaring from his room at full volume as he slept. I confiscated said music to which he responded, "I never listen to it!" i then tried to explain that if it was just blaring from his room so that we all had to listen to it that I would just take it away whether he listened to it or not because attempting to explain to him why his response made no sense would have taken most of my morning. It's just like when Rand stated one morning before heading to his job at the GROCERY STORE DELI, "But I won't be around food mom." I tried to argue that one and got nowhere.
John called last night sobbing and asking me to bail him out which I kindly, and then not so kindly refused. I explained to him that a month ago I begged him to not leave the group home and that he told me he was old enough to make his own decision. I told him that now he was old enough to live with the consequences of his decisions. Often I tell my children, "I did my very best to convince you NOT to make this decision and you ignored me, but now that you have the consequences of the decision you want me to bail you out." I've never said it literally -- until last night.
Apparently he had called earlier to get Mike's phone number. Very not wise decision. And he says he has a place to go when he gets out (if I were to bail him out) but wouldn't tell me where. He wants a visit ... we'll think about it -- he's three hours from here but I think he is getting bad legal advice so I may need to get some research and go over there.
To try and convince him to do the right thing once again. Even though he won't.
Oh good grief! I guess I'm just as bad as my kids with FASD! I don't learn from the past either! ;-)
2 comments:
It's hard to implement those past experiences...and parent. You want to see the good. Beleive the words they utter are truths. Trust their judgement.
Man!
Where is the manual on this?
Claudia,
This morning I walked into Marissa's room. Her room has a private bath with a window. Her bathroom reeked of cigarette smoke and there were thousands of little bugs on her ceiling. A window in the bathroom is not my favorite design feature. It is at street level and faces, well, the street. For extra privacy, we have a plastic cover designed for a florescent light wedged into the window frame so that the window is semi-opaque. She can't open the window without taking off the screen and removing the plastic liner. It was obvious that last night when it was dark outside, she opened the bathroom window so she could have a cigarette and blow the smoke outside. The bugs, attracted to the light of the room flew in.
"Mom I didn't smoke in here."
Apparently, she woke up in the middle of the night and noticed a smudge on her window and opened it to clean it. She doesn't smell any smoke. That's her story and she's sticking to it.
I know the problems that are occurring at your home are bigger than this. But, the continual lying is getting to me. Annoying!
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