Reading Julie's comment yesterday about her daughter and goals, I decided to do a little intervention I asked myself what I did when I was in a slump .... I buy a new journal or planner and new pen and I start some goals. Or, most recently, I download some new software -- but anyway....
I took her to lunch and we talked about the slump she was in and how I she needed to have some success. I mentioned how when I get in a slump I only set a goal to do one thing a day and I get it done. And then I congratulate myself for getting that ONE thing done. After a couple days I try to do two things and then three, and eventually I am back on track.
So after lunch we headed to the office supply place and she half-heartedly chose a small diary. I don't know that she will use it. At one point I told her, "I have an idea -- would you like to hear it, or do you want me to keep my mouth shut." She said, "you can tell me if you want, but I'm probably not going to do it." I complimented her on her self awareness.
For 28 hours she managed to do what she was supposed to do and treat me decently. With that huge amount of equity built up (do you hear the sarcasm dripping) she asked me for a ride which she had been told repeatedly I was not going to provide. I told her the things she would need to do to get me to consider it which she wasn't excited about. I explained to her that I had no reason to say yes to her based on the last week. I left it hanging.
Since then I have been reminded that Bart is going to be out of town tonight and I got three phone calls saying that I would not have PCAs tonight. I am going to have to tell her that it is next to impossible for me to do what I had suggested I might be able to do. More than likely we're heading back down the same path as every time I say no..... I dread it.
Tony made it until 10:00 p.m. last night without being mean to me or disobedient. I congratulated him, but as he pointed out, "Mom, I haven't been HOME."
Everyone else this week has been very cooperative. I spent time helping Leon finish a project for English last until past my bedtime. I mentioned to him that those were the nights when all the things he does for me pay off. I said, "You may not realize it, but I never mind doing something for you -- I'm never resentful even when it is inconvenient. So all those times when you don't think it is fair that the kids with special needs get more attention -- remember nights like this." The nice thing about him is he completely understood it all. Every idea and nuance.
The last two days I have been cranking out the work. It's been amazing how much I've gotten done. I came back from the Y with Kari this morning ready to go again.... hope I don't fade fast. Sometimes that happens but have way too much to for it to happen today. ;-)
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