The 21 Day Rule

It hit me yesterday that I had forgotten about the 21 day rule. I often tell new adoptive parents that for the first three weeks of the placement with older kids (probably even with babies) that it takes about 21 days for you to get past the “I can’t believe how exhausted I am stage.” This is the stage when you feel so emotionally drained at the end of each day that you wonder if you can get up the next morning and do it again.

Every time that we added children, it took us about that long for a routine to settle in and for things to be “normal.” And each time that we added a child, we would temporarily forget about the rule.

The last ten days or so I have felt that way for the first time in a long time -- just emotionally drained and like I“m walking around in a fog. Last night it hit me -- we’re adding children! Even though they are children that we adopted long ago, they are back into our house. Everything takes more effort -- we need a new bedtime routine, a new morning routine, a new laundry routine. They are adjusting to living here and we are adjusting to having them live here. It is almost as if we are adopting again.

So now I can remind myself that this is normal and that it will pass. Don’t know why it took me so long to figure it out.