As I mentioned, the idea of gnashing teeth and having a bad taste in my mouth meant nothing before I was a parent of kids with special needs. Neither did worrying myself sick.
I am not a worrier by nature -- I leave that job to others. But I am also a person who does not sleep well if things are not as they are supposed to be.
So last night, I decided to wait up for one of my daughters and her friend who were not where they were supposed to be. They had mentioned being home from the place where they didn't go by 11, so I started my watch at 11:00. I didn't want to give them any room to say, "we came in at 11:00 but you just didn't see us." So hypervigilantly I sat in my kitchen overlooking the driveway and played Cell Phone Spider, a game that has saved my sanity through many very difficult times. But that's another blog entry.
I kept telling myself, "this is not the first time that a parent has nervously been kept awake by a teenager coming home late." But, as I tell people, my kids are like Emeril -- they always kick up everything a notch or too. So, by 1:30 I decided I just couldn't stay awake another minute and tried to go to bed, which of course, did not happen. At 2:40 the dog was having a barking fit and a light that had been on was off, so I knew they had snuck in. Not only were they out that late, but they didn't even tell me they were home.
I had a big, huge, adrenaline rush hissy fit, yelling and repeating myself -- just like all good parents should when their kids pull a stunt like that. And they I lay awake for an extra hour trying to calm my big old self down.
So, we're heading into the day with me on less than 5 hours of sleep, never a good thing for me. But, to her credit, she is accepting her grounding without an argument. That's unusual behavior lately.
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