Tuesday, November 18, 2008


Telling someone with attachment disorder that they have to meet move is always harder on the people telling the child than the child themselves. I had to do this today.... with a preteen girl. She seemed quite unshaken by the whole experience. She's ready to move forward already, no pain.... at least that she's sharing.

However, she said something very telling. I was telling her that I understood that she was probably frustrated that she never got to make any decisions about her life. I explained that it must be hard. Someone in the room asked her, "Is it hard?"

and she responded, 'Of course. I BELONG to the STATE."

The tone in her voice told the whole story. Who wants to belong to the government? It is almost as though under the surface she was saying, 'I don't even care who I belong to any more. Belonging to almost anybody would be better than belonging to the state."

I couldn't agree with her more.


Other Mother said...

How horrible that must feel. Belonging to the state must mean to her that she's not worth a loving, caring parent. No wonder so many of our kids feel worthless.

How sad.

Lisa said...

It is so sad. J had this same opinion although it would've been a different response since she was only 5 when I got her. But 27 families in 5 years would have to have an impact so she verbalized the best way she knew how.