Monday, March 30, 2009

I'm Glad I'm Growing Up... Because They Aren't

The weekend was riddled with conflict as Salinda tries to navigate a very unhealthy relationship. It's not an impossible one, and I haven't concluded that it's not worth saving, but she responds to him the same way she has historically responded to me when she is under pressure. And as you who have been reading the blog for a while know, that ain't a pretty sight.

Yesterday I came home from a Women's Study group to a major conflict that was in some of it's final stages. I had to convince her that calling the cops wasn't the best option and eventually I got them both in the vehicle to take him home. After fifteen minutes of continued horrible behavior, the whole thing resulted in her sobbing for 40 minutes. After we dropped him off I offered to talk, she refused. I offered again later and we were able to have a decent conversation.

After it was all over I looked back and realized I had made some progress. I'm still far from being perfect at dealing with her when she completely loses it, but I have gotten so much better at not escalating the situation and remaining calm myself. This has been a huge key.

I have a trip this week. I have offered to let John and Salinda come with me... it will give John a break from being at the group home (he's on spring break from school) and it will give Bart a break if I take them both with me. It will involve 14 hours of car time as well as a day an afternoon together. Salinda may get to catch up on some of her school, which is my goal, and the more positive interchanges we have the better things will go.

My big bout with sickness still isn't over. It had a reprieve where only my stomach was upset but I'm starting to cough again and can feel a cold coming on, or coming back, or starting up....

Just came back from the Y and am feeling quite groggy from last night's Nyquil, but I have to make a trip today so I can't spend any of the day sleeping...

1 comment:

Jerolyn Bogear said...

That's awesome about you and Salinda's conversations. I know I love that feeling of, "I did that right. That's God." I hope the kids go with you on your trip. Take care of yourself. You don't need to get sick again.