A Happy Ending to An Ever So Frustrating Story

I have permission from this family to tell their story, not in great detail, and not using names, but for the sake of making a point.

In July of 04 a fellow specialist and I matched a sibling group of 7 kids from a southern state (from now on known as the sending state) to a more northern state (hereby known, ironically, as the receiving state).

By March of 05 the kids were placed with this awesome and committed family who had experience working in residential settings with lots of kids. The kids fit in well, but the oldest had some issues and not too soon after sexually perpetrated their birth daughter.

The family went to work and found a great treatment program for sexual offenders. The sending state agreed he needed to be there, and it was fairly close to their home. The family was convinced that he could rejoin them.

However, that is when the receiving state stepped in. They realized that when the group finalized, they would be responsible to provide services to all these kids and they didn’t want to. They told the sending state that they had to come back and get the kids.

The family was devastated and tried EVERYTHING... in the meantime they somehow had their license revoked (which is awfully strange since the dad in this family had worked for the states DHS for years). Their agency refused to support them.

The kids were returned to the sending state to be put back in foster care. Months went by and the family continued to make contact with both their state and the sending state trying to determine what they could do the parent these kids. They even offered to move to the sending state temporarily. They considered hiring an attorney, but were discouraged because it would take so long and be so expensive

Today, months after the children went back to the sending state, the family popped online and sent me an IM to say that out of the blue they had heard that if they would move to the sending state and stay at least six months, they would let them adopt these kids.

i just have to say kudos to:

The family, for remaining committed to these kids even through ALL the crap;

The sending state, for being willing to understand that the kids were already bonded to this family and that it was a good plan to give them a shot at staying together;

for the ad litem, who kept in touch with the kids throughout the whole mess and realized that they were still attached to these parents;

and to God, who has a plan that men and women cannot mess up, no matter how hard they try.

I remain amazed at those people willing to be committed, to take risks, and to do what was necessary to keep a group of 7 kids together and to allow them to be with a family who is committed to them.

This has truly been a frustrating and heart breaking story, making me furious at “the system” again and again and again.

And even though people should be crowned heroes for being willing to adopt a sibling group of seven kids ages 4-14, almost all boys, this family has instead had their reputation smudged and now has to sell their home and move to another state to keep the kids.

Hopefully this will work out and there will be a real happy ending.