Wednesday, November 30, 2005

Too Emotionally Involved

I did a staffing today for one of my families and I really wanted them to get the kids. They are a great family and these kids would have been perfect for them.

And they didn’t get them. And I’m bummed. I know I’m not supposed to be emotionally involved, but I ALWAYS get emotionally involved.

Sometimes I think that’s what makes me a pretty good social worker, other times I think it just messes up my life.

But they will be matched with the right kids, whichever ones they are, when the time is right.

I’m a firm believer that we are not left to fate. Call me simplistic, call me shallow, but it isn’t hard at all for me to believe that God has a plan for which child belongs where. This has kept me going through all our ups and downs because I really don’t believe that it was something I orchestrated to get the 10 particular children I did. I believe that God planned for me to be their mother. And I can’t imagine my life without having known a single one of them. And I’m bright enough to realize, had any of the other children we pursued been ones we were selected for, we wouldn’t know some of these.

So, I’ll go to bed a little sad for “my” family, but ready to start tomorrow to unravel the mystery of which children belong with them and attempt to get those children into their home.

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