Last week when I was in Portland I was in the hotel bathroom and there was a woman standing at the sink. Her daughter, who I later discovered was about 4, was in stall next to me alone.
Her mother asked her, "Is everything OK in there?" She responded, "Yes, Mom. Everything will ALWAYS be OK in here."
While it made me chuckle and wish my kid would have said it, as I later reflected on it I realized just what an incredible gift that girl had that most of my children did not have at that age. She was secure.
Every kid who is four needs to have that feeling that "everything will ALWAYS be OK" whether it is in a bathroom stall or any other place.
I was tempted to stop the mom and thank her for providing that kind of security for her daughter, but figured she'd think I was nuts. Because most birth parents who are raising their children in functional family systems, who bond to them at birth, and who create an environment that is safe, don't realize what an incredible gift they have given their children. Most of them do not know kids who didn't have that and how hard it is for them to feel safe again.
So, hats off to the unknown woman in the Portland Ramada lobby bathroom -- and every other parent out there who is bonding to their newborns and providing them a place where they can feel that everything will always be OK.
1 comment:
Most people may not know CHILDREN who haven't had that bonding experience, but most of us know ADULTS who didn't have it as children. All we have to do is look around us at those who abuse drugs, alcohol, other people; those in the criminal system; those unhappy in their relationships.
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