There are kids in care. Lots of them. Teens who have social workers that deep in their hearts really don’t believe the kids will ever be adopted.
So when someone mentions a possibility for an adoptive home, they either don’t call them back or they stammer around trying to figure out what to say. They can’t really say, “this is too hard so don’t make me try” but sometimes that is what they really want to say.
I am passionate about getting kids home, but when it comes right down to it, I find myself uncomfortable with the role I must take. I must push -- I must push families to agree to a home study, I must push the workers to consider the home study, I must push the workers to push the kids to agree to adoption, and I must push the powers that be to approve the adoption.
Once the kid arrives and starts testing and pushing back, I have to push the parents to stay committed and push the kids to understand they’ve gotten a huge blessing and agree to try hard to make it work.
But most of all, I have to push myself, each and every time, to make myself go the distance, before agreeing to do so in my own mind, to see that a kid (not kids in general, but a specific kid) gets a home.
I can’t exactly explain what it is about certain kids that grabs me, but when it happens I’m in trouble. I have an average of about 10 kids come through my email each DAY that need permanent homes and so I can’t personally get invested in every single one. And of those 10, about 6 of them are over 11. So I can’t possibly feel personally responsible for every single teen in care. But once and a while, one gets to me and then I’m stuck. I have to ask myself, “Am I willing to pay the price to see this kid get home?”
Sometimes I have to honestly answer “no” and back off. Other times I just can’t let it go.
You guessed it, I’m stuck on a kid right now and I’m not even sure the powers that be are going to let me pursue it. But I get a certain feeling -- a mixture of dread and excitement -- when I know that THIS is a kid that I need to do my best for. Several times the kids that have grabbed me have ended up in my own home, other times they end up with friends, sometimes even with strangers.
But whether it’s an assignment from God or just “one of those things” when I’ve been hooked, I’m hooked. And the longer I do this, the more realistic I am about the price I’m going to have to pay.
Here I go again....
2 comments:
Sounds like the starfish story--you know, the one about the man who is asked why he bothers throwing the starfish back, since he can't possibly throw them all back, and he answers that it matters to this one?
But what about all the kids who won't get adopted? Do you ever think about what would work for those kids?
hopefully this comment isn't a repost becuase I tried earlier as well.
I think that the kids who don't get adopted still need to have one adult who is committed to them for the rest of their lives....
Whether the kids are legally free or in permanent foster care, they still need someone who will say "i will stand by you no matter what."
What do you think would work?
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