Sometimes I hit a brick wall with a thud when it comes to dealing with the system day in and day out. I’m in a unique position because I have gained a lot of knowledge, but don’t have a lot of power. Therefore, lots of people tell me their struggles and I can give them opinions, but I can’t do anything about it.
I didn’t sleep well last night. I had a dream that there were some staffings being held. Now for those readers who do not use “staffing” as part of your regular vocabulary, a staffing is when social workers get together and try to determine which family they will select for a child or sibling group. In some regions it is called a “4-way staffing” in others it is called a “selection staffing” in others an “adoption staffing.” The bottom line, though, is that the results of those meetings change people’s lives forever.
In my dream though, I was single, and the staffings were being held not to select a family for a child, but to select a husband for me. And I was having a tough go of it. I lived too far away for one potential mate, for another I came in second, for another I was third, but it just wasn’t happening.
I was relieved to wake up next to my husband and realize that I didn’t have to find out. The best thing about being married is knowing that you don’t have to wonder any more who you’re going to marry.... (I was single for 32 years and have only been married for 9, so believe me, I know what it’s like to spend years wondering).
Anyway, the lack of sleep, combined with the fact that I am too discouraged to make myself plow through any more negativity, I’m heading off for a nap.
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