The Secret to being Admirable

Several people have emailed me and responded and reacted to my blog with words of praise and admiration. I can’t even begin to explain how unworthy I feel to receive anything of the kind.

The key to being in this position is simple: selective blogging. There is an ideal range for blogging -- when you fit into the bell curve norm of the range between absolute crabby and elated. If I feel really really good, I tend not to have time or desire to blog and nobody would believe I felt that good anyway. When I am really really crabby, I stay away from blogging, not wanting to have my words recorded and sent spiraling into cyber space never to be forgotten.

Today I am about as crabby and cynical as they come. I spent the morning hearing R-rated words before church, all of them directed at me. During church, while I was in the sound booth (without a glitch since the crowd was small) several of my children were not being respectful or appropriate. After church I calmly gave instructions to Mike who, ten minutes later, i overheard saying the exact opposite of what I explained. When I less than calmly began to repeat them, he piously said, “please don’t raise your voice with me.” Salinda, now too beautiful to even exist with her new contacts, after having more privileges this weekend than we’ve ever given any of our children, decided to be rude and snippy with me and flat out disobey my instructions. Kyle is going back tomorrow, and that is a good thing in many ways... if I began to blog why it would take all day and nobody would get it. John ignored my instructions about his contacts and wore a ripped one for 2 days because he wouldn’t believe that I knew what I was talking about. I am not going to go on.

See, this is beyond the bell curve of happiness and everything is bugging me and I’m way to cynical to blog.

In addition, I have a week ahead that I don’t look forward to at all, with almost something to dread on every day, and Bart is leaving to take Kyle back to school tomorrow, so I’ll be home alone all day tomorrow with 9 anxious kids waiting for school to start .

Our sleep schedules are amuck, the house is a disaster, I feel like it has been a year since Christmas, and I do not want to live until Tuesday.

So, any of you who have had any admirable thoughts or feelings about me in recent weeks can realize just how misguided they were. I owed you that much.