But here we are, in the land of teenage girls, a land that I knew I would not navigate well. And while Sadie is doing well 90% of the time, Salinda guarantees that 90% of our interactions are negative, even when I'm trying to make them positive.
I called her today to ask her plan for the day and when I reminded her for the 4th time this week that she had therapy at 2 today, she was instantly angry at ME because she had forgotten this small fact. So I got yelled at, she threatened to hang up on me, yada yada ad infinitum.
I had to call her back with a phone number 20 minutes later and she was perfectly fine, nice enough, laughing even.
I think I need to take my "it is what it is" approach. Many of the things she does, I am learning, are just typical teenage stuff. She's angry, she's sullen, she's upset when things don't go her way, she's stubborn, she can't stand being told no, she's sneaky, manipulative, and mean to her siblings.
But when she is in public she is perfectly appropriate, appears sensitive, kind and caring. She gets along well with adults and her peers. Her grades are OK -- nothing to brag about, and certainly not at her ability , but OK. And so far this summer (knock on wood) she hasn't violated her probation.
So maybe I am just going to have to get used to everything being my fault and blow it off. Cindy is my idol in this. This quote from her blog entry today cracked me up so much that I laughed out loud (referring to her daughter).
Call me later and tell me how that pissy attitude and ignorant mindset works out for you Miss Thang.
I have sons who are ten times worse than she is with what they say and how they act. But it is just WAY girls do it.
Ugh.
3 comments:
My mother would say 14-16 is the worst age for girls, and that I was absolutely unbearable. There was a near-total breakdown of communication for probably eighteen months. On top of the stuff that adopted kids go through, I can imagine it's probably very hard to take, and it is also hard to separate the "normal" from the "extra." However, the "extra" will eventually dissipate if you hang in there, and you show no signs of giving up yet.
I have a 12 year old foster daughter who thinks she is already 16. She has been through a lot in her past and forced to grow up fast so we are going through the teenage years early. I have 2 grown girls of my own and am still not prepared to deal with this girl's teenage years.
Lots of luck to us both!
Diane
www.fosterfamilytalk.com
Hi Claudia, I've been reading your blog(s) off and on for a while now through my Google Reader and just wanted to comment...OH, how I am right there with you! I have 6 adopted (hopefully soon to be 7) children, and we are currently fostering 2 as well. I have 2 daughters, ages 19 and 16 and I thought I would NEVER see the day that my 16yr old would begin to mature..however, she has. She's lived with us since age 8 and it has been a long road (still plenty of it left to travel!). I love your writing and I love knowing that there are other families out there doing what we do every day! :) God bless you and yours! You can visit our blog at http://www.xanga.com/thehoffmanzoo or my new "for fun" blog at http://momzookeeperstherapy.blogspot.com
Hang in there with those girls!
God bless!
MomZookeeper (aka Missy)
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